November

Sliver slip of water
in a thick muddy track
they've ripped out the trees
and they're not coming back.
I stare from the window
at ice sheets of rain.
and think of you smiling
which sharpens the pain.
A cold bleak wind
carves sculptures of mud
freezing black shards
in the ice of my blood.
"How's it going?" he asks
far too loud to ignore.
Without you I breathe
and not much more.
Ghost in the window
Tears slice down the glass
The future's been hijacked
by a moment now past.
I stare at my own eyes
Sight I cannot endure.
Without you I breathe
but not much more.
Hideous laughter
down an echoing hall
like a kick to the gut
stops me thinking at all
In my mind the door slams
and I fall on a knife.
It will be dark November
for the rest of my life.

It was you who lost your life
but it's me who feels the pain
and this world without you in it
will not ever be the same.
I have known you for so long
but we never had the time...
why did I have to lose you?
There's no reason and no rhyme
Nothing's making sense now.
There's no color in my day
there's no living in my breathing
there's no music I can play.
Like a carven wooden creature
with a soul that's turned to stone
and no greedy god to villify;
I scream my pain alone.
Icy claw that plunged inside me
living heart ripped from within,
waiting helpless as the monster eats
then vomits bones and skin.
It was you who lost your life
but it's me who feels the pain
in a world that slaughters justice
sweet lifeblood just falling rain.